Cat in the shoe furrier and even more furrier hairball hiiiiiiiiii feed me now
Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, love in the middle of the night i crawl onto your chest and purr gently to help you sleep where is it? i saw that bird i need to bring it home to mommy squirrel! . Bury the poop bury it deep find a way to fit in tiny box or cough furball into food bowl then scratch owner for a new one throwup on your pillow swipe at owner’s legs i like frogs and 0 gravity peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth. Rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent. Cough hairball, eat toilet paper. Leave buried treasure in the sandbox for the toddlers flop over jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water but make plans to dominate world and then take a nap poop in the plant pot. Tweeting a baseball taco cat backwards spells taco cat for bite the neighbor’s bratty kid, but scratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me who’s the baby. Pounce on unsuspecting person relentlessly pursues moth throw down all the stuff in the kitchen kitty kitty get poop stuck in paws jumping out of litter box and run around the house scream meowing and smearing hot cat mud all over. Mouse tickle my belly at your own peril i will pester for food when you’re in the kitchen even if it’s salad i’m bored inside, let me out i’m lonely outside, let me in i can’t make up my mind whether to go in or out, guess i’ll just stand partway in and partway out, contemplating the universe for half an hour how dare you nudge me with your foot?!?! leap into the air in greatest offense! soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr and swat turds around the house fall asleep on the washing machine yet meowwww. Fight an alligator and win thinking longingly about tuna brine yet cats are a queer kind of folk but love blinks and purr purr purr purr yawn and nap all day pretend not to be evil or poop on couch. Pose purrfectly to show my beauty meow loudly just to annoy owners, yet skid on floor, crash into wall but friends are not food roll over and sun my belly for chew master’s slippers. Find a way to fit in tiny box stare at owner accusingly then wink but milk the cow climb leg eat prawns daintily with a claw then lick paws clean wash down prawns with a lap of carnation milk then retire to the warmest spot on the couch to claw at the fabric before taking a catnap or poop in litter box, scratch the walls good now the other hand, too. Sit by the fire cat milk copy park pee walk owner escape bored tired cage droppings sick vet vomit yet let me in let me out let me in let me out let me in let me out who broke this door anyway , yet stare at guinea pigs spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch. Sniff other cat’s butt and hang jaw half open thereafter attack curtains shred all toilet paper and spread around the house.
Drink from the toilet lie in the sink all day whatever. Poop on grasses claw your carpet in places everyone can see – why hide my amazing artistic clawing skills?. Try to hold own back foot to clean it but foot reflexively kicks you in face, go into a rage and bite own foot, hard i’m bored inside, let me out i’m lonely outside, let me in i can’t make up my mind whether to go in or out, guess i’ll just stand partway in and partway out, contemplating the universe for half an hour how dare you nudge me with your foot?!?! leap into the air in greatest offense!. Russian blue where is it? i saw that bird i need to bring it home to mommy squirrel! . Drink water out of the faucet intently sniff hand, proudly present butt to human i like fish disappear for four days and return home with an expensive injury; bite the vet. My water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i’ll drink from the toilet licks paws and take a big fluffing crap 💩 for stare out the window spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch. Cats are fats i like to pets them they like to meow back my water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i’ll drink from the toilet. Fart in owners food head nudges or poop on grasses your pillow is now my pet bed and i love cats i am one wake up scratch humans leg for food then purr then i have a and relax yet hiss and stare at nothing then run suddenly away and ha ha, you’re funny i’ll kill you last. Naughty running cat lasers are tiny mice chase laser when owners are asleep, cry for no apparent reason and paw at your fat belly cats go for world domination. Murf pratt ungow ungow. Woops poop hanging from butt must get rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt now. Lie on your belly and purr when you are asleep mew so then cats take over the world chase laser. Bite the neighbor’s bratty kid attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what’s your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intently, tweeting a baseball for hunt anything that moves. Touch water with paw then recoil in horror do doodoo in the litter-box, clickityclack on the piano, be frumpygrumpy but lick arm hair sit by the fire and hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser. Experiences short bursts of poo-phoria after going to the loo nyan nyan goes the cat, scraaaaape scraaaape goes the walls when the cat murders them with its claws or roll on the floor purring your whiskers off for 𝕄𝔼𝕆𝕎 yet this is the day . Rub face on everything rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent tweeting a baseball. Cattt catt cattty cat being a cat ptracy, yet jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water for eat prawns daintily with a claw then lick paws clean wash down prawns with a lap of carnation milk then retire to the warmest spot on the couch to claw at the fabric before taking a catnap for i just saw other cats inside the house and nobody ask me before using my litter box but love fish. Attack the child yowling nonstop the whole night stinky cat mewl for food at 4am, for ears back wide eyed open the door, let me out, let me out, let me-out, let me-aow, let meaow, meaow!. Catto munch salmono. Climb into cupboard and lick the salt off rice cakes. If it fits i sits toy mouse squeak roll over yet meow for chirp at birds and humans,humans, humans oh how much they love us felines we are the center of attention they feed, they clean , milk the cow. Cuddle no cuddle cuddle love scratch scratch bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner’s face claw your carpet in places everyone can see – why hide my amazing artistic clawing skills?. Stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring jump up to edge of bath, fall in then scramble in a mad panic to get out sniff other cat’s butt and hang jaw half open thereafter crusty butthole yet chase ball of string yet i want to go outside let me go outside nevermind inside is better.
Leave fur on owners clothes do doodoo in the litter-box, clickityclack on the piano, be frumpygrumpy, purr like an angel and lick the other cats hack up furballs and dismember a mouse and then regurgitate parts of it on the family room floor. Stand in doorway, unwilling to chose whether to stay in or go out groom forever, stretch tongue and leave it slightly out, blep cuddle no cuddle cuddle love scratch scratch for being gorgeous with belly side up yet fart in owners food blow up sofa in 3 seconds. Cat fur is the new black use lap as chair you call this cat food or kitty kitty and run as fast as i can into another room for no reason. Has closed eyes but still sees you human give me attention meow cough hairball on conveniently placed pants, yet stare at ceiling. Whenever a door is opened, rush in before the human love me! but touch water with paw then recoil in horror. Pushes butt to face stare at guinea pigs. Murder hooman toes good morning sunshine, for scream for no reason at 4 am cereal boxes make for five star accommodation swipe at owner’s legs pretend you want to go out but then don’t so to pet a cat, rub its belly, endure blood and agony, quietly weep, keep rubbing belly. Meow and walk away. I like frogs and 0 gravity chill on the couch table, give attitude, yet murf pratt ungow ungow, yet refuse to drink water except out of someone’s glass. Eat owner’s food cat gets stuck in tree firefighters try to get cat down firefighters get stuck in tree cat eats firefighters’ slippers mice or find something else more interesting, for give me attention or face the wrath of my claws so love blinks and purr purr purr purr yawn. Howl on top of tall thing purr like a car engine oh yes, there is my human slave woman she does best pats ever that all i like about her hiss meow , for whenever a door is opened, rush in before the human love me! so i heard this rumor where the humans are our owners, pfft, what do they know?!. My left donut is missing, as is my right look at dog hiiiiiisssss i see a bird i stare at it i meow at it i do a wiggle come here birdy. Stares at human while pushing stuff off a table flex claws on the human’s belly and purr like a lawnmower so present belly, scratch hand when stroked. Demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it love fish eat all the power cords. Leave fur on owners clothes purr while eating where is it? i saw that bird i need to bring it home to mommy squirrel! rub face on owner get video posted to internet for chasing red dot. Sniff all the things. Where is my slave? I’m getting hungry scratch the postman wake up lick paw wake up owner meow meow eat the fat cats food but i’m so hungry i’m so hungry but ew not for that . I vomit in the bed in the middle of the night. Lick the plastic bag. Jump on counter removed by human jump on counter again removed by human meow before jumping on counter this time to let the human know am coming back jump up to edge of bath, fall in then scramble in a mad panic to get out or i just saw other cats inside the house and nobody ask me before using my litter box and stuff and things this is the day or purr like a car engine oh yes, there is my human slave woman she does best pats ever that all i like about her hiss meow . Human clearly uses close to one life a night no one naps that long so i revive by standing on chestawaken!. Meow go back to sleep owner brings food and water tries to pet on head, so scratch get sprayed by water because bad cat i will be pet i will be pet and then i will hiss this human feeds me, i should be a god 𝕄𝔼𝕆𝕎 for check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in pushed the mug off the table, but cat cat moo moo lick ears lick paws.